disclaimer: thoughts and ideas are not fixed and are allowed to evolve and develop
Love, I believe is an infinite resource. In a world where, everything, like lifespan of the human body, is finite. Nothing is forever but what if, love is?
I was in love once.
At the time, I was completely consumed by the depths of my feelings for my partner, to a point of self-sacrificing behaviours, i.e. neglecting my own needs. And in this period of my life, I was unaware I had any needs. So I associated this all-consuming feeling to be that of ‘true love.’ Now, a few years later, I can see that this all consuming feeling was not the love, it was the attachment. This is not to say that there was no love, but besides love was an unhealthy attachment. Now that the attachment has faded, I am left with only love.
First came grief, as it does, hi again old friend, here you are to remind me that I once loved and do still love. When the grief passes, it is then transformed back into its original form, but deepened: love. A love that lingers, a love for who that person was in my life at the time, and who he continues to be and become. The only difference is that we are no longer in a relationship. This project really began after my relationship ended, but I was too close to the subject matter to truly get started. With time came further query, and greater understanding.
Why did the relationship end you might ask, if there was love? Well, relationships require a few key ingredients to sustain themselves, and sometimes, if the only ingredient is love, and none of the other important stuff – it will be hard to endure. I was younger then, my ex and I were both on journeys of self-discovery, and this actually lead to the realization that the dynamic we created together was not a healthy one. At the time it felt like I was hitting my head against a wall, doing absolutely everything to find a solution, how can we move past this? What can we do to make this work? It was no longer a relationship that worked, and we had run out of resources to continue, I knew that if I stayed the toxic pattern will persist, so there was only one option, and it was to walk away. Going deeper, this was a painful pattern repeating through generations, and I can now look back to see I am breaking a cycle much bigger than me. (more on this in future posts)
At the time it might not have felt like it, but now I know walking away really was walking towards, true love.
Shall we get analytical?
Let’s begin with the word, relationship. It comes from the word, relate
Relationship is to relate, to another human.
There is no such thing as the perfect/right person for you – there is only the spectrum of love and relationships. Healthy, unhealthy and all that which ebbs and flows in between.
I read and think a lot about love,
What I am learning is that when two (or more) individuals come together there is something being created, and this some ‘thing’ is a relationship, that is building on the foundation of love. To love is to not only be in love, but also to act and therefore do from love.
Love is a process, a collaboration between two (or more) souls.
A process that is always occurring, therefore a constant.
A relationship requires work, and ideally it is work you want to be doing, because it comes from a place of love.
So, to love, is to be faced with your flaws (we all have them!) and to decide what path you will take, will you choose a familiar one or the path of discomfort? As commonly said, growth only occurs in times of discomfort. So will you take the leap of faith to commit to a new path: the one towards true love.
-true love–
To observe, confront, overcome new challenges, gain new insights, and ultimately expand, from the heart.
Now, let’s imagine a world where we operated on the principle of true love.
In exploration of all possibilities, I am 